Goons

Goons was significantly altered or removed after January 19, 2026. This article is retained for historical purposes.

Goons are NPCs present in the Hub while Aura or Dante is in office.

Punching a Goon while Aura is Mayor sends the player to the  Prison of the Bereft.

Preceding The Uprising, they were meant to protect Official Buildings and only let the player pass if they were wearing a Happy Mask or had a Dante's Talisman in their inventory. If the player had less than 8 hours of playtime, Goons would not prevent them from entering Official Buildings.

Other Goon variants, such as the Corrupt Goon, Guard Goon and Electoral Goon, do not jail the player when attacked.

Dialogue

During Aura's term

Condition	Dialogue
None	[NPC] Goon: The people choose leaders, Aura makes sure they choose wisely.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura said to 'work harder,' so I hit a tree until I passed out.
	[NPC] Goon: Ministers are the voice of the people. So all we have to do is control them.
	[NPC] Goon: Minister elections... democracy with supervision.
	[NPC] Goon: If a Minister misbehaves, there's always room in the jail.
	[NPC] Goon: A bribed Minister is a loyal Minister. Efficiency!
	[NPC] Goon: Bribery? No, no. Aura calls them 'motivational perks.'
	[NPC] Goon: Aura brings order. The rest is just noise.
	[NPC] Goon: If it's fair, it's Aura. If it's unfair... well, it's not Aura.
	[NPC] Goon: If Aura told me to mine dirt for a year, I'd ask which shovel.
	[NPC] Goon: Between you and me... Aura always wanted to surpass Dante.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura watched Dante fall and took notes. Lots of notes.
	[NPC] Goon: Dante tried too hard. Aura tries smarter.
	[NPC] Goon: Dante lost control. Aura studies control.
	[NPC] Goon: Dante feared chaos. Aura just organizes it.
	[NPC] Goon: Dante failed because he underestimated the people. Aura won't.
	[NPC] Goon: Secret elections overthrew Dante, so Aura made elections... less secret.
	[NPC] Goon: Did you know Aura and Dante trained together? She actually learned from his mistakes.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura was Shen's Elite N°2 once. Dante never acknowledged her.
	[NPC] Goon: When Dante left Shen's team, Aura followed. But she had a plan.
	[NPC] Goon: Enjoy your Universal Income. Aura made that happen.
	[NPC] Goon: Universal Income? More like Universal Happiness!
	[NPC] Goon: I love taxes.
	[NPC] Goon: Keep spending! Equality depends on your wallet.
	[NPC] Goon: Every tax is a step towards equality!
	[NPC] Goon: Aura takes my coins, and yet I feel richer.
	[NPC] Goon: If Aura needs coins, she can have my purse.
	[NPC] Goon: I read Aura's rulebook upside down and it still made sense.
	[NPC] Goon: The people choose leaders, Aura makes sure they choose wisely.
	[NPC] Goon: I salute Aura every time I open the Bazaar.
	[NPC] Goon: Thanks to Aura, even the lazy contribute something.
	[NPC] Goon: Everyone can vote, but Aura counts the votes.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura lets you vote for anyone! And then supervises them closely.
	[NPC] Goon: Hard work makes Aura smile. Don't you want Aura to smile?
	[NPC] Goon: Honestly, I sleep better knowing Aura might be spying on me.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura works hard so you don't have to think.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura says equality, and we say 'yes, ma'am.'
	[NPC] Goon: A fair society starts with a firm hand.
	[NPC] Goon: Progress feels heavy, that means it's working.
	[NPC] Goon: Chat responsibly, our ears are everywhere.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura takes, Aura gives.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura says jump. I say 'how many times?'
	[NPC] Goon: When the monsters hit harder, I say thank you.
	[NPC] Goon: Don't question the plan, the plan questions you.
	[NPC] Goon: Trust the system, Aura perfected it.
	[NPC] Goon: Stay productive, citizen, Aura is counting on you.
After the final Minister Election	[NPC] Goon: If Aura leaves, who will monitor my thoughts?
	[NPC] Goon: If Aura goes... who will guide my wallet?
	[NPC] Goon: She's not going because she failed. She's going because she's honourable.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura deserved better. Much better.
	[NPC] Goon: The Ministers didn't support her vision... and now she's leaving. Good job, everyone.
	[NPC] Goon: I hope those Ministers are proud. They shattered her confidence.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura leaving...? I don't understand. They were doing so well.
	[NPC] Goon: You remove one little thing from her system and suddenly she doubts everything.
	[NPC] Goon: Dante would've fought. Aura simply bows and walks away... gracefully.
	[NPC] Goon: She believed in the people. Maybe too much.
	[NPC] Goon: She knows when she isn't wanted. That's what makes her noble.
	[NPC] Goon: I heard Aura sigh today. Aura never sighs.
	[NPC] Goon: I didn't think equality would make me cry, but here we are.
	[NPC] Goon: She trusted us. And we broke her system. Literally.
	[NPC] Goon: She didn't scold me today. Something's wrong.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura isn't the type to cling to power. She's better than that.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura stepping down feels illegal. Emotionally, at least.
	[NPC] Goon: You didn't deserve Aura, and now she knows it.
	[NPC] Goon: I thought she was eternal. Turns out she's humble.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura saw the signs. And she chose dignity instead of chaos.
	[NPC] Goon: She's too pure to fight for power. She just lets it go.
	[NPC] Goon: Aura gave us everything. And this is how YOU repay her?
	[NPC] Goon: Somebody hurt her feelings. I won't say who.
	[NPC] Goon: If Aura wanted to stay, she would've. She's stepping back out of respect.
Condition	Random Dialogue
Attempting to attack them	[NPC] Goon: Violence will not be tolerated!
	[NPC] Goon: Try to pull that stunt again and I will not be so lenilent! ^[sic]
	[NPC] Goon: What do you think you're doing?
	[NPC] Goon: Have fun rotting in jail.

Preceding The Uprising

Note: Grammar/punctuation mistakes are intentional, as they appear so in the dialogue.

Condition	Dialogue
None	[NPC] Goon: dante best
Condition	Random Dialogue
Attempting to enter Official Buildings without Happy Mask/ Dante's Talisman	[NPC] Goon: go Dante in community center get Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: you not happy? go get Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: you need wear Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: oi, where your Happy Mask?
Old Dialogue
None	[NPC] Goon: Go to Dante in the community center to claim your Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: Aren't you happy? Go get your Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: You need to wear your Happy Mask!
	[NPC] Goon: Oi, where is your Happy Mask?

Locations

During Aura's term

Locations
-16.5, 70, -66.5  Village	-14.5, 70, -84.5  Village	1.5, 70, -88.5  Village	16.5, 70, -76.5  Village	-7.5, 70, -89.5  Village

16.5, 70, -60.5  Farmhouse	-16.5, 84, -61.5  Village	-25.5, 70, -72.5  Bazaar Alley	12.5, 70, -87.5  Village	16.5, 70, -50.5  Village

-16.5, 70, -95.5  Village	-17.5, 70, -38.5  Village	-10.5, 68, -104.5  Village	23.5, 70, -97.5  Village	38.5, 68, -56.5  Village

-45.5, 70, -77.5  Village	-27.5, 68, -106.5  Village	-11.5, 68, -115.5  Village	-42.5, 70, -40.5  Village	-25.5, 68, -113.5  Village

-45.5, 72, -98.5  Auction House	-13.5, 68, -123.5  Village	48.5, 70, -106.5  Village	33.5, 70, -122.5  Village	60.5, 70, -52.5  Village

3.5, 71, -4.5  Village	-67.5, 70, -49.5  Village	-13.5, 68, -138.5  Coal Mine	-62.5, 70, -106.5  Hexatorum	-59.5, 113, -16.5 Hub (None)

-15.5, 72, -158.5  Coal Mine	81.5, 71, -105.5  Village	-19.5, 71, 21.5  Mountain	52.5, 71, -144.5  Farm	-97.5, 71, -52.5  Forest

41.5, 72, -156.5  Farm	-7.5, 71, -168.5  Coal Mine	26.5, 132, 2.5  Mountain	95.5, 87, -45.5  Colosseum	44.5, 72, -181.5  Farm

-75.5, 73, 30.5  Mountain	70.5, 72, -180.5  Farm	-137.5, 74, -62.5  Forest	-1.5, 180, 25.5  Mountain	-149.5, 89, -31.5  Forest

-36.5, 184, 53.5  Mountain	-203.5, 74, -26.5  Forest	-188.5, 91, 24.5  Ruins	-243.5, 106, 76.5  Ruins

During The Uprising

Goons played a minor role in the first stage of The Uprising. They would fight with the players before Dante transformed into a Slime. After the transformation, they turned into Slime Goons.

Trivia

If a player jumped into the areas with the Auction Agents or the Auction Master, the Goons would still tell them to get a Happy Mask, even if they had one.
- This is possibly due to these two actions using the same pushing away mechanism.
When clicked, Goons made a sound of a Slime jumping. It used to be a Villager mumbling with a tweaked pitch.
- Their Slime sounds were most likely a reference to how Dante and the Goons transformed into Slimes during the boss fight against Dante.
Goons were also near various locations like the Golden Dante Statue,  Fisherman's Hut, and most shops, but would let the player pass without a Happy Mask or a Dante's Talisman.

Gallery

Goons standing in front of Community Center

History

SkyBlock Prototype
Apr 4, 2021		Added Goons.
Apr 16, 2021		Removed Goons.
Nov 28, 2025		Re-added Goons.
Dec 4, 2025		Hitting Goons no longer sends the player to jail.
Dec 7, 2025		Hitting Goons now sends the player to jail.
Jan 13, 2026		Hitting Goons no longer sends the player to jail.
Jan 13, 2026		Added new dialogue.
Jan 19, 2026		Removed Goons.

Goons

Contents

Dialogue

During Aura's term

Preceding The Uprising

Locations

During Aura's term

During The Uprising

Trivia

Gallery

History

Navigation